" it's like that flame inside of me, the everything is gonna be okay flame just got extinguished, and the anger flame like blew up and got a hundred times bigger. I don't understand why my dad is so mean, and I don't like him or miss him anymore, but I still love him and I don't want to."
Ugh...how do I even begin to try to explain all the issues of why his father is such a bastard when I don't understand them myself?
How do I make him believe that I will never leave him or hurt him the way that man did.
"it's like he just used me to snoop on you, and I kept trying to stop but he would get angry with me"
That dirty rat bastard.
Part of me wishes he would try to kill me again so he'd get put away. Then I could at least offer my boy the solace that he won't be coming back. That he won't get the chance to make and break anymore promises. Break my son's heart all over again.
He's so eager for male attention, and I wish like hell he had a suitable father figure that could do all the guy stuff that's no longer fun to do with his mom.
Though I didn't have a dad around either, I'm a girl and had my mama. .
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